Changing Tides

I apologize for the lack of updates-- my son Dan recently graduated from his University and wasn't exactly "filling his days". It seemed like I'd be out of port for no more than a fortnight before I would have to rush back and solve some crisis... I ended up doing the only thing I could-- I gave him a job at the Bloglantis Foundation, making him our first full-time employee. Being that my primary income is in the form of grants (or really donations, as they're not from institutions) it will be difficult to justify keeping someone on payroll, but I'm leaving it up to Dan to make the business plan. You may notice a few of his cosmetic changes to the website. Soon we will have tools to see how many visitors a day we tally, etc, which will determine our next steps, be it youtube or some other web 2.0 community to raise awareness. You can always show your support by expressing interest in a Bloglantis patch. I head back to sea tonight, under the full moon. --Randy

Sh'rays and Other Tidbits

The major appeal (and, indeed, disappointment) of privately funded Deep Sea Research is that it is full of one-off encounters. While free from constraints such as directed funding (some people are stuck chasing jellyfish for YEARS), private research is often dictated by another market (buyers, rather than sellers). My situation is unique, in that I employ what can be described most accurately as a Hollywood agent (in fact, he formerly was, before securing his most lucrative client). By creating a sort of "image" around the researcher rather than result, as is normally done, one can obtain grants without restrictions of directed inquest.

Basically people pay me to do what I love, and I determine what it is that will be. I do have my eye on a particular pair of dueling pistols to replace my old 972's-- academia can be such a dramatic affair.

As I am not currently part of any standardized research collective, I can publish whatever I choose (for virtually no cost-- thank you Web 2.0). In traditional research, there are many different avenues findings must go through before appearing in a journal. Not surprisingly, most papers do not make it to print, and are soon given up on by their originators in favor of a more fashionable topic. I, on the other hand, can publish a few notes on a creature I glanced, and everyone concerned (i.e. the BLOGOSPHERE) is all the happier!

And so I give you my latest sight, a cross between a shark and a manta ray (I call it a sh'ray)
It seems to have evolved this way due to its migration to the colder climate and deeper waters of the north. The sh'ray bides close to the surface, using its large flaps of skin as a blanket to absorb the sun's warmth, then dives down in a flash to go after its prey. Its reconnaissance is aided by downward facing eyes-- a curious development, as sharks traditionally have very poor eyesight, only being able to tell the shape of their prey by its silhouette against the surface. I wonder if perhaps the sh'ray has also adapted to nocturnal hunting? Further research is tempting, but I fear that my motivation for pursuit is often piqued by violence-- immediate violence.

I'll keep you updated-- Randy

Career Tacking

On occasion I'm known to visit certain internet forums to discuss my work, and recently a question came up about a technical aspect of the particular camber to my career path. I believe a similar affair arose in the mid 20th century to a great many "liberal" folk in the moving picture industry. I regret to say that the trials and tribulations of John Q. Film are a great deal more sophisticated than the rubbish I've been put through.

And as you've waited so patiently, the post:

I'm embarrassed to say that none of the species I have "discovered" have been properly documented (i.e. in a reputable Journal). It's a whole story I'd rather not go into, sufficient to say that my particular brand of research, as they have phrased it, "...raises the hairs on the back of the neck of the scientific community." I've also received numerous calls from groups such as PETA, so much that I believe they must be in some sort of alliance, hence I am essentially blackballed from any sort of "official" publications. Naturally this put me into quite an unfulfilled state for some time, until I learned a bit about web 2.0 and self publishing-- and so Rejection begot Bloglantis! I've always thought that private research yielded more interesting results, so my exile has actually been for the best. Of course, some people take these things personally-- a few "former" colleagues now refuse to speak to me, but I'm hardly interested in people as "shallow" as that-- after all, it's called "deep sea research"!

With that out of the way, yes, I have discovered many the outlandish sea giant, most without names as of yet (I'm hesitant to apply any sort of "standard" such as latin genus-species-etc when I have no reason to) but my spiral notebooks are full of whales with strange horn protrusions, sharks with odd numbered fins, etc. I believe I may have a few photos-- obviously I have more than spiral-bound etchings, but often I am too preoccupied with other measurement equipment to take a snapshot. I've said this before, but I cannot imagine a more rewarding job.

I believe the saying "Rules are meant to be broken" holds doubletrue for the advancement of science-- not only should you disobey any prior established method, but also run against any sort of common sense to speak of. Floundering about at unimaginable depths with nothing but a mayonaise jar can yield astounding results-- just think of Philippe Bouchet!

Unconventionally yours-- Randy

The Most Dangerous Creature of the Deep

McHale's NAVY what a trying pair of weeks it has been. Never before have my portholes felt such like prison bars. Make no mistake Blogosphere, it's truly a modern day miracle that I'm alive to blog these abominable events. I feel that perhaps I've earned the status of a sort of Neo-Grecian God. Similar to the Christian's St. Michael-- Randy Balma, scientific archangel of the deep, destroyer of nettlesome teenagers!

Well give it a little while to "sink" in before you totally dismiss it.

I believe you'll recall from our last correspondence (or if not, simply scroll down-- the entries are ordered in reverse-chronological sequence) that I was to be paired up with some unwashed ruffian so as to attempt to physically drive some substance of education into his head before the state could shrug it's proverbial shoulders and let the "beached whale" be (not that I condone that*-- whales are beautiful creatures)

Witness the simpleton ask me YET AGAIN the purpose of the extinguisher, "Because fire doesn't burn underwater"! My god, I've never been so close to striking someone as then!

I wont bore you with the details of the rest of my imprisonment with this softhead (and too, I'd rather not relive it), needless to say it has given me a rather chipper outlook henceforth-- I don't think anything could be quite as awful as that.

Onward and upward-- Randy

*Have you heard of the dolts that attempted to blow one of my fallen comrades-of-the-deep to pieces because they didn't care for it's odor? Thankfully whales don't vaporize, so the numskulls had a bit of a "heavy" rain. I believe that's called "the last laugh"